Spoken Word 2                      Synth                           (Inspired from the Channel 4 Drama “Humans")

By

Alana Monet-Telfer

I am a Synth.  Trust me it is not a lie; for I would love to just laugh out loud right now and say "Na I’m just messing with you"

As I observe myself and make my deductions; I sometimes wonder why I didn't come delivered from the Persona Synthetics Box; instead of being shocked that I was actually born from a mother’s womb.

 

Autism/Aspergers Syndrome affects everyone differently.  For me it's effects seems so real to that of  a Synth; that watching  one episode of Humans made me shake in realization; and unable to watch another episode.

 

Why would I want to watch that drama about Synths? when I'm a version of one  living and breathing right now?

 

Why would I want to watch the risks a Synth is in (for example: being taken advantage of, being mocked, being used to make someone else prosper, or be used); When I’m just one innocent misunderstanding in communication away, from suffering the consequences of it myself?

 

My dad gave up on me a long time ago, and to be honest; I don't blame him.

 

Like a computer I require many upgrades, updates, and rechecks; in the form of speech and language therapy, speech therapist, CBT Treatment, time and effort defending me, understanding non-verbal language; as well as the normal things to help a life grow.

 

The horrifying thing is that my mother still has to keep paying for my upkeep and existence; while I still need to recheck on what basic human communication I need to know and learn.

 

How do I feel? Well it may amaze you to know...that I don't know how to feel.  I was even taught how to feel.  Crazy Huh?

All I can say is living as a Synth in this system and generation; makes me only feel fear, loneliness, neglect, emptiness; and dread.

 

If you don’t have what I have please appreciate all the simple things you can do; for it takes another person a lot of pain, depression, and even sacrifice to understand.

 

Thank You.

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