Spoken Word 1:  Why do you fear me?     by Alana Monet-Telfer

 

As I sat with a person at break; a sudden confession turned everything upside down.

“Umm...Wait so....you have Autism?”

“Yes I do.”

“Oh...Ok.”

It seemed we were making a great connection; and a small rose was blossoming in my soul before; what seemed to you like an incantation of death, innocently spilled out of my lips.

 

Time starts to slow, communication starts to weaken, awkward pauses make their presence, fear arises, and ignorance makes its way into your mind; before you shuffle back into the grey.

 

If you wonder what this grey is I’ll explain quickly.  In my world (perception) I’m the only one in colour; while everything else in my existence is just grey; and coated in the blissful state of ignorance, false beliefs, and prejudice.

 

As I see you slowly change back into the grey I wonder to myself “Why?”

 

“Why is it when I say one thing that makes me different; do you mistake it as if I was the personification of Leptospirosis, Leprosy, Or even worse….Cancer?”

 

“Why do you fear that if you stay with me one second longer after this realization; you will die a sudden horrible death?”

 

As I take this pain and hold back my tears; the rose that was blossoming had died.  Its withered brown petals now fall upon a tombstone in a sea of others in the graveyard in my heart.

 

What rest’s in these tombstones are the many failed dreams of the reality and the beauty of being; if not accepted, but at least understood; if they were not killed suddenly by your pride and spurious social status to be perfect.

 

As they say “what doesn’t kill you make you stronger”.  So as I wipe away a tear; I turn to you to ask you one more question.

 

“Why do you fear me, when you should fear prejudice, superficial, and careless betrayers like yourself, whose same actions which you have exhibited; can leave your existence to be no more?”

 

By:  Alana Monet-Telfer